Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
