dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
