You're my little dorito
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
