I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
