Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
