i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
