its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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