Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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