whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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