if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want nice things and good sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
