so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
