Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
