Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
