Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
