Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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