You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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