Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
