Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
