it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
