And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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