first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
