Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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