It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
