I'm gonna have a badass scar
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
