Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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