the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
