Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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