Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
