i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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