3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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