using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
