How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
