I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
