You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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