Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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