I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
