....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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