one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
