I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
