Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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