I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
