You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
