Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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