I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
