margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
be right there i have to get my cape
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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