Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
