We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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