what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
