My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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