thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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