I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
